President Obama held a press conference last night to shore up support for his health care reform bill. I thought he did a great job politically of managing the questions and getting people enthusiastic about the issue. However, I did notice a couple things, like the fact that his answers to hard questions ramble on until he forgets what was asked in the first place and that he knows absolutely nothing about economics. Also, his speeches are very formulaic. They’re effective and make people think he’s a genius, but there is a formula to it. So I unveil to you, the anatomy of an Obama speech:
1) “I’m your knight in shining armor. I saved America with hope”
Now, six months ago, I took office amid the worst recession in half-a-century. We were losing an average of 700,000 jobs per month, and our financial system was on the verge of collapse.
As a result of the actions we took in those first weeks, we’ve been able to pull our economy back from the brink. We took steps to stabilize our financial institutions and our housing market. And we passed a Recovery Act that has already saved jobs and created new ones, delivered billions in tax relief to families and small businesses, and extended unemployment insurance and health insurance to those who’ve been laid off.
Of course, we still have a long way to go. And the Recovery Act will continue to save and create more jobs over the next two years, just like it was designed to do.
2) Hate the rich, they made America fat and lazy
I realize this is little comfort to those Americans who are currently out of work. And I’ll be honest with you: New hiring is always one of the last things to bounce back after a recession.
And the fact is, even before this crisis hit, we had an economy that was creating a good deal of wealth for those folks at the very top, but not a lot of good-paying jobs for the rest of America.
It’s an economy that simply wasn’t ready to compete in the 21st century, one where we’ve been slow to invest in clean-energy technologies that have created new jobs and industries in other countries, where we’ve watched our graduation rates lag behind too much of the world, and where we spend much more on health care than any other nation, but aren’t any healthier for it.
3) The common man has suffered, or If you don’t like Obama, you want everyone to die writhing in agony
That’s why I’ve said that, even as we rescue this economy from a full-blown crisis, we must rebuild it stronger than before. And health insurance reform is central to that effort.
This is not just about the 47 million Americans who don’t have any health insurance at all. Reform is about every American who has ever feared that they may lose their coverage if they become too sick, or lose their job, or change their job. It’s about every small business that has been forced to lay off employees or cut back on their coverage because it became too expensive. And it’s about the fact that the biggest driving force behind our federal deficit is the skyrocketing cost of Medicare and Medicaid.
So let me be clear: If we do not control these costs, we will not be able to control our deficit. If we do not reform health care, your premiums and out-of-pocket costs will continue to skyrocket. If we don’t act, 14,000 Americans will continue to lose their health insurance every single day.
These are the consequences of inaction; these are the stakes of the debate that we’re having right now.
4) Promises – Elaborate promises that are the adult version of coke in every drinking fountain
If you have health insurance, the reform we’re proposing will provide you with more security and more stability. It will keep government out of health care decisions, giving you the option to keep your insurance if you’re happy with it.
It will prevent insurance companies from dropping your coverage if you get too sick. It will give you the security of knowing that, if you lose your job, if you move, or if change your job, you’ll still be able to have coverage.
It will limit the amount your insurance company can force you to pay for your medical costs out of your own pocket. And it will cover preventive care like check-ups and mammograms that save lives and money.
Now, if you don’t have health insurance or you’re a small business looking to cover your employees, you’ll be able to choose a quality, affordable health plan through a health insurance exchange, a marketplace that promotes choice and competition.
And, finally, no insurance company will be allowed to deny you coverage because of a pre-existing medical condition.
5) Token gesture. His plan will cost trillions of dollars, but look, he saved a couple pennies!
Already we’ve estimated that two-thirds of the cost of reform can be paid for by reallocating money that is simply being wasted in federal health care programs. This includes over $100 billion of unwarranted subsidies that go to insurance companies as part of Medicare, subsidies that do nothing to improve care for our seniors. And I’m pleased that Congress has already embraced these proposals.
6) Slap Republicans. Imply they’re the cause of the problem.
I understand how easy it is for this town to become consumed in the game of politics, to turn every issue into a running tally of who’s up and who’s down. I’ve heard that one Republican strategist told his party that, even they may want to compromise, it’s better politics to “go for the kill,” another Republican senator that defeating health reform is about “breaking” me.
So let me be clear: This isn’t about me. I have great health insurance, and so does every member of Congress. This debate is about the letters I read when I sit in the Oval Office every day and the stories I hear at town hall meetings.
7) Tears. Tell sad anecdotes
This is about the woman in Colorado who paid $700 a month to her insurance company only to find out that they wouldn’t pay a dime for her cancer treatment, who had to use up her retirement funds to save her own life.
This is about the middle-class college graduate from Maryland whose health insurance expired when he changed jobs and woke up from the emergency surgery that he required with $10,000 worth of debt.
As an aside, what percent of his anecdotes do you think are fake? He doesn’t say names or use any way to verify their identity, so it wouldn’t be hard to fabricate. I have a friend in New Jersey who’s a doctor, and he thinks medicine should focus solely on underlying problems and not just treating the symptoms. His own practice has been extremely successful doing just that. Yeah, his name is Dr. Gregory House. See how easy that is? I could even plausibly say I wasn’t lying.
But check out any of his speeches and you’ll see all of these elements in there.