I really liked the Gym Douchebag test that I had in my last post, so today I will tell you how to identify a Facebook ‘bag. I’ve become very angry about the pollution on my news feed page.
If you have to tell people what you’re doing on Facebook, chances are nobody cares about you enough in real life to ask you. I was just too nice to ignore your friend request for the fourth time, but now I wish I could unfriend you.
With that, here are your quick steps to identifying a douche:
-status is updated more than three times per week
-changes their status to a complaint or non-problem
-bonus points for being tired, sore, busy, or hurt
-a guy comments on every girl’s hot pictures (I freaking hate this guy because he has ruined drunken slutty pictures for us all)
-has more than five favorites – twenty interests just means you have zero interests
-tries to make themselves seem cool with douche events like trips to Europe, extreme sports, or proclamations that they have fun (rule of thumb: if nobody wants to hear about it in real life, nobody wants to read about it on Facebook)
-Americans who write crap in a foreign language, especially a romanized version of it