A couple weeks ago, my friend Jackie told me something very interesting that I wanted to share. It was in the context of training but I think it really applies to most of life.
His thought was that people should train frequently in front of a mirror, or find some other way to reflect on their behavior. You see, coordination is the difference between what your mind thinks it is doing and the action that actually comes out. A well-coordinated person has very little or no difference at all when their mind becomes action, and a person with poor coordination has something completely different. Unfortunately, the people with the poorest coordination are often the least aware that their actions are totally different from their thoughts, but everybody can benefit from reflecting on themselves.
Training in front of the mirror is especially important in sparring. When you feint, what does it look like? Would you fall for it if someone else did it to you? Most importantly, does it look like what your mind wants to do?
I find that this applies equally to situations outside of sparring though. For instance, love. I’ve always disliked the idea of “mixed signals”, because either the person giving them has no idea what they’re doing or the person receiving them isn’t getting the message. Either way, someone is incompetent and it’s probably on both sides. Or one of my common pet peeves, which is people being surprised that someone has problems with them. You have to speak clearly if you have a problem, because it’s inherently unfair for the target to be surprised that you’re upset.
So every now and then, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself what you would think if the person looking back at you was someone else. Or ask people you trust, like friends or family, what they think of your actions. If they think you’re doing something that is different from what you’re trying to do, then you need to change.